It’s funny how it takes something breaking down in your body to realise what’s been breaking down in your spirit. I injured (or should I say reinjured) myself recently, nothing dramatic, nothing life-altering. Just one of those niggly, frustrating injuries that lingers and forces you to pause.
At first, I was annoyed. Retearing an ankle ligament is not fun, especially when forced to rest and unable to train. But beneath the surface of that frustration, I began to unravel something deeper.
The truth is, I’d been running on tunnel vision, trying to give everything 100 percent. I had fallen into the overachiever mindset, chasing too many goals at once, and believing I could handle it all if I just pushed hard enough. But that pace wasn’t sustainable. It was the pressure I was putting on myself, the kind that easily slips under the radar until something finally forces you to stop.
One thing that stuck with me was a conversation with someone who said that people pleasing is a form of manipulation. That one hit hard. Because when I looked at my behaviour honestly, I saw how much of it came from fear: fear of rejection, of not being worthy, of not being liked. And that fear was fuelling my ego just as much as my pride was.
Turns out, ego doesn’t always look like arrogance. Sometimes it seems like overachieving, like pretending you’re okay, and ignoring your limits because you should be able to do it all. But that’s not strength, that’s self-abandonment.
This injury turned out to be a blessing in disguise. It gave me time to pause and reflect on what honours me, my body, my spirit, and my time. It reminded me that rest isn’t weakness, that saying no doesn’t make you a villain, it makes you your own protector. When your senses are telling you something, when your thoughts are louder than usual, and when your spirit feels off, that’s when you should listen. The signs are always there before the breakdown.
We spend so much time trying to be everything for everyone, but sometimes the most radical thing you can do is choose yourself, again and again, even when it feels uncomfortable, even when people don’t get it. The real power lies in your intuition.
People will have opinions, they’ll judge, they’ll project, they’ll talk. But they’re not the ones living your life; they only see what you choose to show them. The same is true in reverse: when you make assumptions about others, you’re often casting them in a negative light, not because of who they are, but because of the story playing out in your mind.
Right now, I’m choosing to focus on my hauora, on being okay with rest, okay with softening, okay with slowing down, because I know I’ll only come back stronger.
It’s in those pauses, the quiet moments, that we finally tune into ourselves. And in those moments, it’s okay to be selfish. Sometimes, you need to be.
Being selfless all the time can lead to self-abandonment, constantly putting others first until there’s nothing left of yourself.
You need to take care of yourself too. And knowing that, well, that’s one of the greatest strengths you can carry.
Shanlivvy 